Let’s all say it together now, women and especially mothers are the most underrated humans out there. Life itself stems from women and why society can’t give them the equality and credit they deserve? That’s a battle that is yet to be won.
What we can do, however, is take a moment to think about what it really means to be a woman and a mother. We hope that reading through this would either make you feel more empowered as a woman, and be more confident in your every day, or would make people have a renewed sense of appreciation and honor for women and mothers everywhere.
Paul R. Albert, PhD, writes, “The fact that increased prevalence of depression correlates with hormonal changes in women, particularly during puberty, prior to menstruation, following pregnancy and at perimenopause, suggests that female hormonal fluctuations may be a trigger for depression.”
If we could pinpoint the most difficult job in the world, it’s being a mother, and here’s why:
- Being A Woman
Before anything else, a mother is a woman. A woman who needed to go through all the physical and emotional changes from her pre-teen years up until her pregnancy. It means she needed to deal with issues like self-esteem and taking care of her image.
Being a woman means she needed to make sure she was presentable every day by waking up early to fix her hair or do her makeup because it’s what society asked of her. Also, it means she needed to groom herself on a daily basis to make sure she’s on top of her game and exude the confidence she lacked. She needed to shave, wax, pluck, everything you can imagine, all while dealing with monthly menstruation.
- Being A Wife
Now, she’s still experiencing everything a woman has to, but she’s met the man who she’ll decide to build a future with, and she’s going to soon realize that marriage is undoubtedly not the fairytale the movies make it out to be.
They say being a wife means to become one with your husband, but what does that really mean? It means sharing everything together. Sharing the good times, sharing the bad times, sharing the finances, dividing her time even she feels like she doesn’t have enough for herself. It’s a constant adjustment, taking care of her husband’s ego, all while ensuring they maintain a happy marriage.
“The mental illness has a way of wanting to direct the movement of the relationship, rather than the individual partners,” said Jeffrey Sumber, MA, LCPC, Chicago psychotherapist and relationship coach. “But remember that couples have the ultimate control.”
- Being A Parent
Let’s not even go into how pregnancy just makes mothers flat out heroes. Let’s talk about how much sleep they lose while caring for the child from their infancy to their young adulthood, and how much time they spent making sure her children are living their best lives.
“The symptoms of depression during pregnancy are largely the same as depression that occurs in other times of life,” Dr. Amy Kranzler, PhD, attending psychologist in the department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Montefiore Medical Center/The University Hospital for Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York City, says. “The pregnant woman may also have worries about the delivery of her baby or about her inadequacy as a mother.”
A mother not only needs to provide for her children the parental duties, but also be the person her children look to for emotional support, and she needs to be strong and reliable for the rollercoaster of things her children will experience. Can you believe she’s even expected to put food on the table and make sure the house is clean?! Woman, wife, parent… that’s all there is to be a mother, right? Wrong.
4.Being A Daughter
Before she had her own life, she was a daughter herself too. She has parents, siblings and many relatives whom she values and owes her life to, and they will always be a part of her life. She might have her own life, but that doesn’t mean she can forget about her family.
Being a daughter means calling up her parents and ensuring that they’re taken care of. It means being there when family matters need fixing. It means stumbling over herself trying to put together gifts for everyone for the most important occasions. She juggles two families and is always happy to do it.
5.Being A Friend
Lastly, contrary to popular belief, becoming a wife and a mother doesn’t automatically mean you lose your social life. In reality, a social circle is precisely what a woman needs to stay sane throughout her journey. Although there are introverted mothers who prefer to keep to themselves, there are still many mothers out there who live with the pressure of being a good friend too. It means finding the time to see them despite everyone’s busy schedules. It means saying the right things when her friends are going through something rough.
All of these and many more are what makes mothers “superwomen” and saying thank you is the least we can do.