What’s The Big Idea About Women And Autoimmune Diseases?

If someone advises you not to underestimate a woman’s prowess, you should listen well. Her skills and intellect can match that of any man’s as long as she puts her back into it. Even if you try to lie to her, her intuition will make the truth come out. Above all else, she does not mind enduring nine long months to bring another human being into this world.

What may knock a woman off her pedestal, however, is an autoimmune disease. This kind of condition appears to have a no-return-no-exchange policy. Once you contract it, you may try various treatments to get rid of it, but there’s little to no guarantee that they will work.

 

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3 Ways To Handle A Sexless Marriage 

Whether you like it or not, sex is an essential ingredient to make a marriage work. Making love is an act of expressing how a couple feels for each other. The moment a relationship becomes sexless, the logical ending is always divorce. When two people could no longer engage in lovemaking acts, then it is proper to assume that their marital union is going down the drain. In this article, we are going to lay down some of the tips on how you could handle a sexless marriage. 

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Depression Over Infertility

I have been married for over five years now, and I always tell myself that I am happily married. My commitments to my husband are the above all priority I ensure to do. I always try my best to be a loving wife, understanding significant other, and a supportive partner to him. I devote to provide my spouse the peace and happiness he deserves. However, there is this something I cannot appear to give him that causes an irrational pain in my emotional and mental state. I am infertile, and having a baby is seemingly difficult to do. Continue reading Depression Over Infertility

Don’t Ruin Yourself By Destroying Others

It is usual for women to experience mixed emotions, so it is reasonable when you encounter an unfortunate situation that involves a conflict with someone. It is inevitable, and it happens almost all the time. But in some circumstances, there is a certainty that you sometimes cannot control yourself. There are instances that instead of trying to patch things up with someone you have had a misunderstanding with, you choose not to resolve the issue. Perhaps maybe because you get emotionally attached to the problem and that all you can think of is getting back on that person. But do you entirely need that to happen? Continue reading Don’t Ruin Yourself By Destroying Others

It’s Okay To Have Imperfections (Everyone Has)

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The problem with women nowadays is their battle with self-confidence. A lot of them are afraid to become bold and different. It is as if it is a sin to try and create something out of the ordinary. But who is to blame? Well, even history can tell that women always aim for perfection. The truth is, some of them also take no notice of a lot of things only to achieve the kind of flawlessness they desire. Often, that is in spite of the stuff on the line. That includes their physical, emotional, as well as mental health.

The Imperfections

The way most women look at imperfections is way beyond disgust. There is this uncomfortable feeling they indulge themselves every time they can’t have the perfection that society demands. Sometimes, most of them even try to change things in such extent.

“Women’s identities, we are told, are fragile and conflicted: at work they feel like frauds and at home they feel worthless,” Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, PhD said. “The mischaracterization of women’s and girls’ identities as weak and conflicted has many potential negative consequences.” For most women, understanding imperfections is not an option. There is this mentality that it should not exist and that most women must do something about it.

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For example, in the physical aspects, a lot of women choose to undergo surgery due to the belief that appearance is the only representation of beauty. Some are willing to pay a higher amount of money only to alter what is God-given. Why? That is because these women do not feel pleased about how they look. Their confidence appears to be dependent on their physical attributes. So when there is a slight physical issue that exists, women quickly freak out.

““I feel that I am a person of worth, at least on an equal plane with others.” That is an example of the kind of question you might be asked by researchers trying to determine your level of self-esteem,” wrote Bella DePaulo, PhD.

In the behavioral aspects, women can be imperfectly perfect in hiding their true selves. Meaning, some of them validates their action when others seem not to complain. It is as if they believe that improving and developing their attitudes are out of the picture. Why? It is because they are afraid of changing for the better. Some people do not try to fix their negative traits due to the fear of losing their personality in the process.

For the emotional and mental state, women are afraid of getting stuck. That is the reason why they often show the world that they are happy and fulfilled. But deep inside, they are bleeding and depressed. Women know that people look at them as vulnerable individuals. That is the reason they prefer to hide all the pain only to prove everyone wrong. Their emotional and mental imperfections get disregarded because they want to tell themselves they are okay even if they are not.

 “It does seem like a perfect setup to feel like you’re not measuring up. And tragically so many women feel like they’re the only ones who aren’t living up to this ideal,” says Seth J. Gillihan, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania.

Think About It

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If all people think and act in the same negative way, progress and growth will never happen. Yes, imperfection sucks. It is nothing but a damaging quality that stops individuals from becoming better. It is sometimes unimaginable, inconsistent, and unpredictable. But it is not enough reason to get depressed. Imperfections are solely a reminder that all individuals are created equal. It is humans’ way of knowing what things are wrong but is always acceptable. No one in the world has zero flaws. Therefore individuals should not have to worry about perfection.

Never Feel Sorry For Being You (Best Advice For Women)

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It is not always that women are empowered and they feel confident about themselves. The truth is, they are most of the times insecure with a lot of things. Some of them are not comfortable with their physical appearance. Some are having problems with their personality development. Some are struggling with family and relationship issues. And some are not at all happy with their lives. Those are only a few of the reasons why women are vulnerable to emotional and mental conditions.

With the toxicity that surrounds the life of most women, their best option is to stay true to themselves. However, a lot of them find it difficult because there are factors that won’t allow it. These include judgment from people who never care to understand. There is a societal portrayal that women should stay only on a particular purpose. There is this other people’s mentality that females are born incapable of doing a lot of things. With that, most of them are having problems identifying themselves.

The Reality Of Uniqueness

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“The world ‘normal’ suggests there is a right and wrong way to be a person,” said Pandora L. MacLean-Hoover, LICSW. “There isn’t. There is a spectrum of acceptable behavior in lawful societies like ours. It’s vast and varies greatly.”

In today’s era, everyone wants to fit in. There is this urge to become one of the crowds. That is the problem. You see, a lot of women are afraid of showing the world their genuine personality because no one wants uniqueness. Not everyone accepts the fact that some people stand out from the rest. That is because everybody is insecure and selfish that they do not want others to become different. It is a depressing reality that nearly all people have this crab-mentality. Yes, some are aware that their personality is their best asset. But not all understand its use and purpose.

Some women could not care less. They believe that being true to themselves is the most significant type of acceptance they can offer to everyone. These women are happy with who they are, and they do not care about the imperfections they have. Yes, these women also have a negative personality that needs improvement. But regardless of that, they keep fighting the battles of becoming a better version of themselves. These women are open to necessary change and are more than willing to improve instead of sticking to the norm.

“It’s easy to stay focused on the negative aspects of being different. Thinking of the negatives about your situation is the natural response,” wrote Nathaniel Lambert, PhD. “However, dwelling on the negative is usually harmful to your mental health and well-being. Instead, try to see the positives of being different and focus on these things; you’ll notice a drastic difference in your outlook on life.”

Takeaway

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People can do nothing to please everybody. There are still some people who will have to say something whether you do and offer good things to them. So if you think you are not perfect enough, stop worrying about it because it is useless. If you believe that the only way for people to accept you is to blend in, quit trying so hard. People will still hate you, and they will always find fault in you. You can never stop them, so never feel sorry for being you. As a woman, it is your duty and responsibility to love yourself no matter what.

“Loving ourselves means experiencing our feelings just as they are. Oftentimes, we try to push away unpleasant experiences and cling to pleasant ones,” wrote John Amodeo PhD, MFT. You are entitled to show the world that regardless of the harsh judgment, an unfortunate event can never stop you from believing in yourself.

Stand Out From Everyone Else (Women’s Best Assets)

It is no secret that every woman finds themselves a bit insecure. That is because there are certain things they know they can’t do. Their strength and ability are limited to those things they can only emotionally, physically, and mentally handle. However, it does not mean that they are not qualified to stand out from the rest of the crowd. Even if tons of anxiety and stress comes along the way, a therapist would agree that building up the best assets can potentially impact a woman’s societal role.

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She Has Faith In Herself

A woman that understands who she is and what she wants is precious. That is because she does not limit herself in finding and achieving her own set of dreams. The faith she has in herself is a type of asset that does not allow others to hold her down because she believes in her abilities.

John Grohol, PsyD, wrote, “People with a good and healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves for who they are, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities and accomplishments. They also acknowledge that while they’re not perfect and have faults, those faults don’t play an overwhelming or irrationally large role in their lives or their own self-image (how you see yourself).”

She knows she can handle and make way for things based on how she perceives it. The faith that a strong woman has does not allow negativity in her life. She doesn’t need any support from anyone, nor does she seek for approval of what she does. A strong woman stands out from the rest because she makes her own decisions with confidence. She is not afraid to stand by her choices, and she is not scared of pointing that out.

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She Values Respect And Not Attention

A strong woman stands out from the rest because she knows she does not need anyone’s attention. She never feels interested in begging for someone else’s love. Every time she knows she is unwanted, she immediately leaves the situation and never allows herself to stay in it for too long. She has a clear mindset of how she wants others to treat her. Yes, some people sometimes fail to understand her and often misinterpret her actions, but she does not care. She values respect more than compliments because she knows it lasts longer than minutes of fame. With that, a strong woman does not allow herself to get locked up in a toxic environment where she becomes unappreciated.

She Lifts People Up

The most significant asset of a strong woman that makes her stand out is her ability to lift people. That instead of creating a drama, she radiates everyone with positivity. She is always open to helping others by encouraging them to show their potentials. She also hates gossips and negativity. She spends more time in lending a hand to those individuals who are in need. She is a type of woman that stands by people’s side through ups and downs. She knows how tough it is to work alone; that is why always make sure that she will always be there when someone needs a helping hand. She is a woman that can turn heads around because she listens, cares, and offers support.

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She Cries

A woman that is not afraid to cry her heart out is a fantastic individual.  That is because she knows that crying is not a representation of weakness, but rather a sign of strength. Crying, for her, is an essential part of knowing when she should pause and move forward again. She knows that her tears are not a symbol of failure, but rather an indication of an in-depth realization that she needs rest.

Clinical psychologist Stephen Sideroff, PhD, said, “Crying activates the body in a healthy way.” He added, “Letting down one’s guard and one’s defenses and [crying] is a very positive, healthy thing.”

When a woman cries, she realizes the moment when she needs to pick herself up so she can be ready to heal. For her, crying symbolizes her faith in herself. It is her way of acknowledging that things in life are often challenging. With that kind of emotional stability and mental perseverance, she becomes confident in finding reasons not to quit.

She Forgives

There are tons of things that lock a woman’s mind into a black hole. However, a strong woman does not allow herself to get imprisoned with negative thoughts. She wants to free her mind from the unwanted energy that does not contribute to her overall development. She knows that she can’t control things, so she decides to move on.

Michelle Roya Rad, MA, PsyD, LCP, gives emphasis on working on forgiveness. She wrote, “Whether it is self-forgiveness or forgiving others, this is a must-do for any healing to happen. Self-forgiveness usually has to do with letting go of the guilt and shame, and forgiving others has to do with cutting any negative attachment to people and freeing yourself from their influence.”

However, she never forgets. She uses the experience and heartaches she gets to properly manage things in her life, such as relationship and commitment. She stands out from the rest because she forgives and does not aim for revenge. She is confident enough to handle things without hurting other people.

A woman that knows her worth always makes a difference. Be that kind of woman and empower others as well.

How To Be Happy (A Quick Guide From A Therapist)

Achieving ultimate happiness is completely challenging. You need to take into consideration a lot of things before you can claim that there is happiness in your life. The reality is that you cannot just sit in the corner and wait for this joyful emotion to knock on your door. It is essential that you put your head and mind into making it happen. Invest your time and effort so that you could get what you have been dreaming of.

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Continue reading How To Be Happy (A Quick Guide From A Therapist)

The Psychology Of Make-Up (A Psychologist’s Perspective)

As individuals, we are wired to seek out appealing physical attributes. That no matter what cultures we live in, we value its importance. That is particularly following “appreciation” and “first impression.” That is the reason a lot of us want to look good all the time. We run our daily routines in keeping our skin glow, making our body fit, maintaining better hygiene, and so on. “Cross-cultural research has demonstrated worldwide variations in what is physically appealing,” said Theresa E DiDonato PhD. And though there is a wide variation of what physical appeal should look like, our beauty roots in personal perspective. As a psychologist, I believe we have the physical characteristic that is generally the marker of beauty based on how our mind perceives it. That particular thing has become the target of modern cosmetics where there is an evolutionary standpoint of beauty. It is none other than our face.

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Beauty And Makeup

Human’s physical preferences already reached its evolution over a million years ago. There are upgrades everywhere. But the most common thing that supports beauty from centuries up to present is makeup. While we may not entirely understand how the thing works on most ideal ways, we know it is working perceptually. Meaning, it changes everybody’s perception of someone’s face. Usually, it supports a positive alteration through its direction. By targeting the facial cue, a clear judgment of healthiness and beauty appear. That is because makeup enhances facial contrast where it affects skin coloration. Thus, it makes us appear healthier.

Wearing makeup can alter a human’s perception significantly. That is expressly on a woman’s personality. Some studies show some men see women wearing makeup as prestigious individuals. Some of them also think that some of those women with makeup are dominant. Though there is not much evidence to support the claim, the overall societal view aggresses to it. Dale Archer, MD adds: “when we meet someone new a first impression is first about looks; only later do things such as personality, brains and character start to take on meaning.”

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The Psychological Use Of Makeup

Beauty caters a wide range of description. However, if you haven’t noticed, most women do not like to leave their home without makeup on. So why is that? Research shows that there are two psychological reasons why most women chose to put on makeup before leaving the house.

One reason is camouflage. It is a process where women try to hide their insecurities and anxiousness behind a beautifully covered face. They want the facial imperfections to become unnoticeable, so they begin to see makeup as a necessity. That is fair enough for those women who somehow suffer from emotional issues as well as experiencing lowered self-esteem. Makeup can potentially create an alter-ego for women to help them face the world without showing weakness and focused-imperfections.

The second reason is the seduction/attraction. “Women who wear makeup are judged to have a greater interest in men, to be more promiscuous, and to have a less restricted sociosexuality (which is just jargon for an interest in and approval of short-term uncommitted sexual relationships),” said Robert Burriss, PhD. The use of makeup falls in the category of seduction or attraction because it primarily enhances facial attractiveness. For these types of women who think the opposite, makeup is something they consider as an option. These women use it only to boosts their self-confidence. They believe that when they get covered with it, they tend to become more assertive and friendly.

Four cosmetic products add a psychological basis to makeup use. First is the blush. A pink tint on the cheeks makes a person glow and look young. Then there is mascara, eye shadow, and eyeliner. These eye essentials create a more attractive look by changing the depth of colors around the eyes. Another one is lipstick. It increases the color contrast of the mouth, especially when its color is red. Lastly, there is the contour. It creates symmetrical and sharpened facial angles.

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Insight

In a woman’s face, the parts that receive the most attention are the eyes and lips. The color contrast around the two features creates an appealing balance all over the whole facial area. With that kind of balance, the more feminine and attractive a woman gets. That explains why eye shadows and lipsticks are the makeup staples that most women would often want to have. And since people view the face as an instant reflection of personality and beauty, its symmetry is valuable. Meaning, less facial variations the face has, the more attractive it becomes to the human eyes. Thus, since makeup even skin tones and creates contour and eyeliner and lip liner can make the eyes and lips symmetrical, it becomes reasonable why cosmetics are in demand in the market.

How Pregnancy Can Affect A Mother’s Mental Health

People describe pregnancy as a beautiful moment where a woman becomes a mother. It’s always painted as a beautiful picture because it is. But people tend to forget all the hardship it brings with it. These hardships test a mother’s physical and mental health.

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In reality, pregnancy brings about a lot of different emotions. Not all are positive. There can even be cases where pregnancy leads to severe mental health issues for the mother.

The Connection Between Pregnancy And Mental Health

Being pregnant is an exciting time for the expecting mother, but it’s also challenging. You will have to deal with hormonal changes, fatigue, discomfort, and even pain, in some instances.

Along with these physical difficulties, expecting mothers also have to deal with significant emotional changes. You have to be ready for the stress that comes before, during, and after pregnancy. You also have to be mentally prepared to welcome a massive change in your lifestyle – your baby. These physical and emotional obstacles are why being pregnant can significantly affect an expecting mother’s mental health. It increases the likelihood of the mother experiencing a mental health complication.

Note that both women and men can develop mental health issues during the process of pregnancy. After all, the expecting mother isn’t the only one worrying about her soon-to-be child. Fathers and grandfathers can be equally stressed. But for this article, we shall focus on the mother’s mental health.

Mental Health Problems That May Arise During Pregnancy

Numerous mental health complications can come up due to pregnancy. These can arise during the antenatal period (before the birth) or the postnatal period (after the delivery).

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The following are mental health conditions that can arise during the process of pregnancy:

 

  • Depression

If an expecting mother is not happy about being pregnant or is dealing with a lot of undue stress, she may develop depression. “I see a lot of patients with peri-natal [during pregnancy] depression and postpartum depression. They account for nearly 30 percent of my caseload,” says Kimberly Buckingham, PsyD. It can be present before pregnancy and become more severe during the process. Signs of depression are feelings of hopelessness, anger or irritability, and loss of interest in one’s daily activities.

 

  • Anxiety

Anxiety can develop in an expecting mother who is always worried or fearful of things in the future. It includes the anxious feeling that comes with the idea of having to care for a child. “Being depressed often makes us anxious, and anxiety often makes us depressed,” says Nancy B. Irwin, PsyD. Typical signs of anxiety are feelings of restlessness, feeling weak or tired, and having trouble concentrating.

 

  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

PTSD can develop in women who’ve had a distressing experience while giving birth. It includes feeling severe pain during the birthing. Other, like past miscarriages, can also be a cause for PTSD in expecting mothers. A telltale symptom of PTSD induced by pregnancy is the fear of giving birth if ever one becomes pregnant again.

Expecting mothers who already have mental health complications can have them become more severe during pregnancy. These include the ones stated above. Other mental health disorders that can be worsened or triggered by pregnancy are the following: bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and eating disorders (e.g., bulimia or anorexia nervosa).

Tips For Maintaining Your Mental State While Pregnant

Make taking care of your mental health and well-being a priority, especially while you’re pregnant. Here are some suggestions for doing that:

  • Don’t push yourself too much. Only do what you can manage. Ask for help when dealing with things you can’t do yourself.
  • Do not make significant life changes during your pregnancy, like changing jobs or moving to a new house. It gives you more things to worry about.
  • Keep yourself physically healthy. Eat your meals regularly and get enough rest.
  • Avoid drinking alcohol and smoking.
  • Talk to your partner or to anyone else you trust about what you’re feeling.

If your mental health is plummeting, it might be time to consult a professional. Talk to a doctor, counselor, or therapist if you start showing symptoms for any mental health disorders. “It’s enormously important that the field start thinking about assessing and treating depression during pregnancy, not just postpartum,” says Ellen Poleshuck, PhD.

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Yes, pregnancy is a beautiful thing, but it’s also challenging to deal with, especially for the expecting mother. It brings about a lot of obstacles that can wear down physical and mental fortitude. As such, the expectant mother’s mental health should be prioritized just as much as their physical health.

To all potential mothers out there: Take care of yourself as much as you can. Do this for your sake, your baby’s, and the rest of your family’s. You can get through this.