Up to this day, it’s hard to fathom how some women get lucky in the love department. They meet the guy of their dreams the first time they enter a romantic relationship. Although misunderstanding erupts sometimes, the couple makes up before the arguments turn into a verbal fight. They complement and understand each other, so it’s needless to say that only death can honestly separate them.
Alas, this kind of relationship is too good to be true for most members of the female population. Some have to have their heart broken several times before meeting the one. The unluckiest women come across a seemingly sweet guy at first, but then they later resemble a hot potato that the man drops without much thought after getting what they want.
It is a real challenge to bounce back from this happenstance and mend a broken heart – that’s true. You need to do it, though, for your sake, as well as the people who have always supported you and believed in your prowess. Considering you don’t know how to move on anymore, these counseling tips may be helpful for you.
- Think Of The Ups More Than The Downs
After a breakup, you might feel so lonely that you can’t help but cry when love songs play. You don’t have someone to share your happiness and sorrows with. There’s no longer a person who sends flowers or food at your workplace when you least expect the gesture.
Instead of dwelling in those thoughts, though, you should focus on the positive outcome of the split. You can now go clubbing or drink with friends without needing to check in with your beau. You are free to do anything that the boyfriend never wanted you to try. Furthermore, you’ll be able to find a man who’s much better in many aspects than the last one.
At the same time, Ellen Hendriksen, PhD, suggests, “The antidote is to expand again. Get out there, not necessarily dating, but simply doing stuff. Do things you used to love but might have let go of. Try things you’ve been meaning to try for years. Meet new people, to date or simply to hang out with. Indulge in post-breakup cliches like a new hairstyle, new bedsheets, or personal training sessions. Stay in and decorate your nest or go out and explore the world. Oh, and try out some killer smoothie recipes.”
- Don’t Take The Shortest Route
When a woman grieves because of her broken relationship, the friends often suggest, “Go on a date soon, girl. Show your ex that you aren’t affected.” The truth, however, is that its influence on you is profound. That is why you feel like a part of yourself died, right?
If you take this shortcut, you should be aware that it does not always lead to a happy ending. You may find someone sweet and kind, yes, but the beautiful connection that’s supposed to grow between you and the new man does not have a strong foundation since you haven’t fully let go of your past.
To avoid hurting another person and feeling worse about yourself, therefore, try to wait until you no longer feel pain when somebody mentions your ex’s name.
- Make Yourself Busy
It is likely that you want to do nothing else but stay in your bedroom for days post-breakup. You avoid everyone that you and your former lover knows, in fear of getting asked about your relationship. You may even file for an indefinite leave at work because you don’t like your job getting in the way of your “mourning.”
While you have the right to do all of that to cope with the heartbreak, counseling experts believe that it’s best to channel the energy you’ll use to cry towards more fruitful activities. Say, travel to the places you have never been to before. Visit your relatives in other states. Accept another project from your boss. Not only will you get to distract yourself from the hurt, but your productivity will also not suffer because of one failed relationship.
According to Theresa E. DiDonato, PHD, “Evidence suggests that individuals who do not make progress on redefining and rediscovering themselves experience poorer psychological well-being and post-break up adjustment on a week-to-week basis. One of the most important actions you can take to heal post-break up is to expose yourself to new people, challenges, and experiences.”
Think about it, lady. The fate has probably allowed you to split with your man since someone else is a better match for you. You are in pain now as the breakup may still be fresh. Over time, however, you will realize how lucky you are for not ending up with that person.
Moreover, Kevon Owen, LP emphasized, “So you’ve had the air knocked out of you, and your heart is on the mend, so you’re unsure of what comes next. Let me tell you. You’re going to overcome. Remember who you are, remember that you’re worthy of love and there is more extraordinary love to experience when you’re ready to.”